It seems like just yesterday that I started my first year of homeschooling with my oldest and now we’re talking about senior pictures and future plans!
This moment wasn’t supposed to come so soon – and I’ll admit to a few moments of panic.
One year from now he will be starting a new chapter in his life and my mind keeps asking – “Is he ready?”
“Have I done enough?”
“Did I cover all the academics he needs? What about life skills – did I remember everything?”
Then there’s the question of what’s next?
People have already started to ask what his future plans are. I feel like a terrible mother when I blush and stammer – “Umm… I don’t know”. But I don’t know because he doesn’t know.
And then I get all panic-y because I really do want to know. I want to have it laid out – our 5 year plan, our 10 year plan. But – that’s just it – it isn’t “our” life to plan – it’s his.
I can give guidance and input – but I can’t control or make those decisions.
That’s when I really get panic-y! What if he makes a wrong decision? What if he messes up?
But wait a minute – didn’t I mess up on occasion? I still do.
My goal in parenting isn’t to raise perfect children – that would be impossible. My goal is to raise mature kids who love the Lord with all their heart and want to serve Him.
So I think it’s time to stop fretting and get back on my knees. I need to give this boy back to God and let Him do the planning.
It really doesn’t matter what my son does next year or in five years, or in 10 years – as long as he’s doing what God wants him to do – this Momma will be proud.
But letting go isn’t easy…