Now Who’s the Boss?

It happened this week.

I knew as soon as Nathan took a full time job that this day would be coming.

The day the cows got out and I was home alone to deal with them.

I saw him first thing in the morning, a single cow wandering in the yard.

My first thought was to ignore him and surely he would just saunter back into the fence, right?

Wrong, The next time I looked there were two of them.

Maybe I could text Nate to come home at break and take care of them?

Maybe Jan could come home at lunch – what kind of trouble could they get into in four hours?

A lot.

The next time I looked one of the varmints was walking through my asparagus patch. My “just-starting-to-emerge-and-I-am-so-hungry-for-them” asparagus patch.

That awakened something deep inside me. I think it’s called revenge. Or vindication. Or maybe I just got mad. But I grabbed the closest hoodie, threw my bare feet in my gardening crocs and ran out the door in my jammies.

I had no plan in mind, other than to get them out of the asparagus quickly.

I said nothing – just walked like an avenger – right up to that varmint cow. I made eye contact and he took off running in the right direction!

His buddy took one look at me and followed.

And would believe – both varmints ran right back through the downed electric wire?! They both went right back into the pasture they were supposed to be in?!

It was a miracle.

I’m not sure if it was my outfit? My attitude? The “this mama means business” eye contact?

Or maybe – just maybe, I’m finally getting the respect I deserve.

I even fixed the downed electric fence – by myself – in my pj’s and crocs.

That should those those cows who’s boss.

The Cow Whisperer

It’s never a good thing when the phone rings at 7:30 in the morning and you learn that your cows are out.

Your routine gets tossed to the side as you scramble into clothes, go to the bathroom (just in case), grab your coat and head out the door in the rain.

I was very thankful Nate was home to help as we drove down the gravel looking for the renegade critters. We quickly spotted them in the neighbor’s hay field and Nate hopped out to chase them home while I sat in the heated van thinking how well that had turned out for me!

My warm, dry wait quickly changed when a neighbor pulled up to tell me that there was another group heading down the gravel to the east.

I looked around for help, but saw only myself, so I headed out to round them up solo.

You may remember that several of my attempts to chase cows by myself have not ended well. But this time would be different. At least that’s what I told myself as I rounded the corner and saw the four varmints running down the road. I drove ahead of them, stopped the van and prepared for battle.

The goal was to get them turned up the dirt road that would lead straight to the pasture. Sounds easy right? Not. Those cows went every other way possible. I was almost in a panic when a young cowboy in a pick-up truck pulled up.

“Them your cows?”

I thought to myself. “Of course they’re my cows! Why else would I be standing on the side of the road in the rain wearing mismatched clothes and soaked to the skin at 7:30 in the morning?! ”

But I answered with a simple, “Yes!”

He replied, “Need some help?”

Help?! Oh glory yes! Yes, indeed!

He went from smart aleck to super hero with those three simple words.

Then he got out of his truck, stood at the end of the dirt road and pointed while making a strange sound like maybe a “yuuu-up”

And believe it or not, those renegade cows turned right into the road and trotted down as docile as anything!

A perfect stranger and they did whatever he wanted!

Was it the cowboy boots?

Maybe the “yuu-up”?

Or is it that they just don’t like me?

Whatever the reason, I was thankful!

Even more so when that Super hero walked the entire mile to the pasture with me in the rain! When they took off for the tree line instead of heading to the gate he simply said, “Bet that’s where they got out. Funny, they can usually find it right back.”

Maybe for you Mr. Cowboy, but if it was just me, we’d still be running in circles around the neighbor’s muddy field.

Sure enough, all four ran up to a spot in the fence and squeezed back through.

Then they headed back to the rest of the herd, but not before taking one more look back at me and the Cowboy.

And I’m pretty sure they winked.

Varmint cows.

November Snow

Dear children of mine,

I interrupt your regularly scheduled school day to bring you this special report.

Last night while we slept – it snowed.
Six inches of wet sticky snow.

And although you may think that it’s really quite exciting and even somewhat pretty, I must bring a touch of reality to your morning.

The heavy snow has knocked down the electric fence and all the cows are all out.

While you were drinking your hot chocolate for breakfast – they were walking across downed wire and eating the hay bales set aside for their winter consumption.

Please drop whatever you are doing and immediately put on your winter coats, snow boots, gloves and hats.

You will find them still in the tubs in the basement where we put them last spring -because your mother somehow missed the 6 inches of snow in the forecast last night and was not prepared.

Then report to the back pasture for a morning of adventure.

We’ll call it PE.

Thank you,

Your mother